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15 Weirdest (or Genius) Patents Ever Granted

Anyone who has made an invention can apply for a patent. Most patents describe serious inventions, which represent technological progress in the field concerned. But not always. People patent some pretty weird and wacky ideas. We discuss some of the 15 weirdest patents filed in the past.

  • US4233942: Animal Ear Protectors

This invention provided a device for protecting the ears of animals, especially long-haired dogs, from becoming soiled by the animal's food while the animal is eating. The device provides a generally tubular shaped member for containing and protecting each ear of the animal, and a member to position the tubular member and animal ears away from the mouth and food of the animal while it is eating.

  • US7062320: Hiccup Treatment Device

This device used electric current stimulation for treatment of hiccups. It basically involved galvanic stimulation of the Superficial Phrenetic and Vagus nerves using an electric current. This weird treatment involved the step of drinking an electrically conductive fluid from a vessel which includes the electrodes for applying said first and second electrical currents to the patient.

  • US5356330: High-Five Machine

This device addressed your solitude in case you alone watched a match and your favourite team was winning. After all, a solitary fan is unable to perform a "high five" to express excitement during a televised sporting event. Maybe some would have also found a way of patting their own backs using this weird machine.

  • US5727565: Kissing shield

This device was invented to be used as a kissing shield to lessen one's chances of becoming infected by disease from casual contact. A flexible thin membrane is stretched over a heart-shaped frame, which folds for easy storage and attaches to a handle for quick use. According to the patent, the kissing shield could even "be used especially by a politician who kisses babies."

  • US6932368: Wind harnessing bicycle

This invention relates to apparatus which when connected to a bicycle utilizes the force of wind to drive it in a controlled manner. Inventor must have thought of sailing his bicycle like a boat.

  • US4625468: Portable Nuclear Shield

Afraid of the coming Apocalypse? This shield will protect you should a nuclear bomb ever be dropped in your area. According to this patent, all you need to do is to dig a hole and unfold the Portable Nuclear Shield over your head and you will be free from its harmful contaminants. Hopefully you’re good at digging fast!

  • US5031161: Life Expectancy Watch

This invention relates to a watch for monitoring and displaying the approximate time remaining in a user's life. It comprised an actuarial table algorithm for projecting a lifespan value for an individual. Just wondering how Wolverine or Captain America would have used this watch.

  • US6490999: Snake Walking Collar

Ever thought of going morning walk with you snake? Does your snake charge at random people while you two go out for a morning walk? This patent helps you not losing your snake in bushes or going out of control. The invention discloses a collar that can be wrapped around the body portion of the snake and the collar can be tied with a suitable tether or something similar for you to be incharge.

  • US6612440 : Banana Protective Device

Primarily suited for people in those countries where banana is rare or expensive. Sounds weird? Why would you ever need one? No one knows, but apparently some people highly value the safety of their bananas. With the banana protective device, they claim that you will never have to worry about bruised, brown, or smelly bananas in your lunch box.

  • US5901666: Pet Display Clothing

The invention relates to clothing for transporting and displaying small pets while worn by a person. It provides a pet display vest having an elongate, enclosed, pet receiving, passageway extending thereacross with at least one closable pet admitting entry, at least part of the passageway being transparent so that, when the vest is worn, a pet moving along the passageway across a wearer's body can be viewed by a spectator.

  • US6637447: Beer Umbrella

Maybe your beer needed some cooling-off before helping you cool down. It’s a small umbrella that can be removably attached to a beverage container in order to shade the beverage container from the direct rays of the sun. It’s weird but cute too.

  • US4608967: Pat on the back Apparatus

A self-congratulatory apparatus having a simulated human hand carried on a pivoting arm suspended form shoulder supported member. The hand is manually swingable into and out of contact with the user's back to give an amusing or an important pat-on-the-back.

  • US4320756: Toilet Fresh Air Breather

Not exactly weird but an emergency breather apparatus that can be used for breathing fresh air while entrapped in a room filled with toxic smoke, and more particularly to a breathing tube adapted to have an open end thereof inserted through a water-trap of a toilet to enable the user, exposed to toxic smoke inhalation, to breathe fresh air until he is rescued.

  • US4605000: Greenhouse Helmet

Weird when filed in 1986 but seems soon we all be needing one of these helmets. The greenhouse helmet brings nature to you. All you need to do is strap it to your face! A self-enclosed, anti-fog-treated dome sits over the wearer’s head, containing multiple shelves to hold tiny plants inside. As you exhale, the plants soak up the carbon dioxide, supposedly stocking you in return with the purest oxygen. The helmet even has a two-way intercom system, so you can communicate with friends in the not-so-great outdoors.

  • US4344424: Anti-Eating Face Cage

Matching with Hannibal Lecter’s face mask this invention discusses an anti-eating face mask which includes a cup-shaped member conforming to the shape of the mouth and chin area of the user, together with a hoop member and straps detachably engageable with a user's head for mounting the cup-shaped member in overlying relationship with the user's mouth and chin area under the nose thereby preventing the ingestion of food by the user.

People have been coming with really strange ideas in the past. Some has been really stupid and some way ahead of their time. Nonetheless, it's important that inventions must continue to be filed despite their being stupid or weird. We never know which of the weird ideas we may be using some day.

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